And We All Fall Down
by AddiesUndiscoveredTwin
Summary: Immediately after Freedom. What would happen if something had happened to Derek? Summary Rubbish :p Uses inital 'dreams' from season 5 premier
1. Happy Ending?

Meredith stood watching Derek leave as their 'house' flickered around her. He glanced back and smiled at her. She waved and sat down in their 'living room', pulling her cardigan around her.

She really wasn't sure she trusted him… But she truly loved him and really did want them to be together, so she settled down to wait for his return. A little voice in the back of her mind told her he wasn't coming back, but she pushed it aside and looked out at the beautiful city of Seattle at night cradling their champagne.

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Derek walked away smiling. Though he was dreading talking to Rose, he knew this was what he wanted, what he'd wanted for… well forever. As he drove away from the love of his life, he couldn't help replaying her outburst in his head. She had looked so magnificent, beautiful and amazing while she'd been yelling at him. He'd fallen in love with her even more, which he'd thought was impossible. He was determined that from now on; he was going to do right by his Meredith. He was going to do everything by the book; he wasn't ever going to hurt her again.

He pulled up outside Rose's and almost jumped out of his truck and knocked on her door.

She opened the door and smiled happily.

'Hey you.' She beamed at him. Derek felt a flash of guilt for what he was about to do and took a deep breath.

'Rose. Rose, I'm sorry. We need to talk.' The smile fell from her face like rain from a thundercloud.

'Oh. You'd better come in then.' She walked back into her house and crashed on the sofa. 'Meredith?' She asked looking a little miserable. He nodded mutely.

'Rose, I'm sorry. I love her. I have loved her for what seems like forever. I tried to pretend I didn't. But I just can't pretend anymore. I just can't hurt her anymore. I'm sorry.' Her face crumpled and she broke down. Derek sighed and moved over and sat next to her. She leaned into him crying still. They sat there like that for hours, Rose crying and Derek dreaming about Meredith. Slowly, Rose stopped crying as light crept in at the window. They talked for a bit more before they stood up and shook hands.  
'It's for the best.' Sniffed Rose, 'You belong with her. We all know it, I just… I fell for you like every other girl on the planet.' She giggled a little as Derek flashed his McDreamy smile.

'I really am sorry Rose.'

'It's fine Dr Shepherd. Honestly. You'd better get back to her.. She'll be going on shift soon.'

Derek smiled and waved as he got back in his truck and looked at his watch. He'd been at Rose's all night. Meredith was probably so mad at him. He was driving back to his trailer, 'house' and his girlfriend, when he saw a jewellery store opening. He thought for a second and pulled in.

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Meredith woke up still cradling their champagne, lying in their 'living room' damp with dew and with the morning sun blinding her as it rose over Seattle. She sat up and rubbed her eyes, blinking in the bright light. She pulled out her cell phone and looked at the time.

She swore several times before dialling his number. As soon as he picked up she yelled at him.

'You stupid son of a … I waited! ALL NIGHT! And you were with HER all night! I KNEW I couldn't trust you!'

'Mer.. Meredith. Slow down. I left Rose's place. I had to get some things. Breakfast for starters. There's nothing in the trailer. And I didn't want you to be hungry. When does your shift start babe?'

Meredith's glare softened a bit.

'12, and it's about 10 now! I only have 2 hours and I need to get changed.'

There was silence on the other end for a minute.

'Ok Mer, go back to your place, get your stuff and I'll meet you there. I'm just picking up some stuff and then I'll bring you breakfast at the hospital ok?'

She smiled.

'Ok Derek. I'll see you soon.' She was about to hang up before she heard,

'Meredith?'

'Yeah?'

'I love you Meredith Grey. And soon you'll see how much. See you soon.' With that the phone clicked. He'd hung up. She sat back for a second in a slightly confused, smug and contented way before getting up and going to her truck.

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	2. A Flash

Derek left the jewellers smiling and drove to the store to buy provisions and Meredith some breakfast. He raced round the store smiling and bought all her favourite things. And some envelopes.

He almost ran to his car and drove home.

He unpacked the food making her a lunch of all her favourite things, then wrote her 2 notes and put one in one of the envelopes he bought and one under the pillows on his bed along with his earlier purchase.

He grabbed her lunch and a bite to eat for himself and got back in his truck and drove to get coffee. After ordering her favourite and something for himself, he began the drive beaming to Seattle Grace Hospital.

He came to a crossroads and the traffic lights were out so he looked both ways and pulled out. There was the loud sound of a horn and a horrible second where the world slowed down. And then the darkness fell.

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Meredith walked into Seattle Grace Hospital smiling and a whole wonderful hour earlier than she needed to be in. She went into the locker room and threw her stuff in her locker. She sat down on the bench and smiled happily to herself. Her Derek, he was finally hers. She giggled to herself as Christina walked in.

'Oh my god. What happened to you? You're all.. Cheerful.'

'Bright and shiny!' Mer beamed at her sullen friend.

'No you cannot be bright and shiny when my interns are driving me crazy. What happened anyway?' When Meredith simply smiled and said,

'Our clinical trial finally worked.' Christina groaned.

'You said 'our clinical trial.' Tell me you did NOT do the nasty nasty with McDreamy last night!'

'Nope' smiled Mer 'Even better.' Christina glared at her happy friend and turned around.

'I'm leaving now before your bright and shininess gives me an even worse headache.' Meredith beamed.

'Okay. See you soon Christina. Oh and Christina?'

'Yes oh happy one?'

'You can have my surgeries today. I'm bright and shiny enough without them.' Christina's face lit up as much as it ever did.

'Thanks Mer. Your loss. See you on the floor.' And with that Meredith's best friend left her alone to her thoughts. Very happy ones at that.

She daydreamed about Derek for a little longer before one of her interns came in.

'Doctor Grey?' She sighed.

'What is it? You know I'm not on duty for another half hour right?' Her intern shifted from one foot to the other.

'I know but Mrs Crendon won't shut up until she's seen you.' Meredith thought for a moment.

'Isn't she supposed to be having the surgery today. The surgery to remove her tumour?'

'Yes Doctor Grey, she is supposed to be. But she's threatening to cancel unless she sees you. Now.' Meredith sighed and got up grabbing her white coat.

'This had better be good. I have a brunch date.' And Meredith walked out of the locker room glancing at her watch. She was hoping to be back for her date.

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There was flashing lights and voices everywhere.

'….Shepherd… 37… My god he's…. Better take him to Seattle Grace…. Look at that….'

The noise slowly ceased again almost as quickly as it came to his notice as the darkness surrounded him once again.


	3. Ignorance is Bliss

Having finished convincing Mrs Crendon that she really did need the surgery and that she would be perfectly safe in the hands of the surgical team at Seattle Grace, Meredith flopped back down onto the bench in the locker room and looked at her watch. She swore a little under her breath and got out her cell phone. Derek didn't pick up. That was odd, she thought. He always picked up, even if it was to say he couldn't talk. She tried again and still no answer. Maybe he's already here she thought. Meredith went to his office and found no sign of him. She grabbed a coffee and saw Alex, George and Izzie so went over.

'Hey guys. Have you seen Shepherd?' The trio rolled their eyes.

'Maybe he's off screwing that Nurse.' Smirked Alex.

'I'm sure he's fine Mer, probably just with a patient or something.' Reassured George. Meredith sighed, thanked her friends and walked off in search of Derek.

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'…Derek Shepherd… car crash… unconscious… head trauma… on his way… paramedics said they'd bring him here…' Christina stopped dead as she overheard a nurse talking to Bailey, who looked grim.

'They called ahead to tell us this?' Bailey asked

'Yeah apparently he's in pretty bad shape.' Christina saw Bailey hesitate before telling the nurse to clear Trauma Room 1 and bustling off probably to inform the Chief. Christina rushed to catch her up.

'Doctor Bailey.. Is it true Doctor Shepherd is coming in? As a patient?' Bailey stopped for a second and glared at Christina.

'You need to learn not to listen to other people's conversation's Yang. But yes Derek Shepherd has been in an accident and is in a pretty bad way. I'm just going to inform the Chief, but it sounds like it will be all hands on deck for this one.'

'Does Meredith know?'

"Doctor Grey? No. And it needs to stay that way. You need to keep her away and unaware of this Yang.' Christina hesitated.

'But Doctor Bailey, with all due respect, they're involved, and she has a right to know.' Bailey stopped dead and rounded on Christina.

'Let me get one thing straight Doctor Yang, my only concern is the safety of Derek Shepherd, the best neurosurgeon possibly in the country. And having his little girlfriend there crying will only complicate his treatment. Do I make myself clear?'

'Perfectly clear Doctor Bailey.'

'Good. Now what are you doing still standing here? Go find her and keep her occupied!'

'Yes ma'am. And Dr Bailey?'

'What is it now Yang?'

'What about my interns and Meredith's interns?' Miranda Bailey thought for a second.

'Swear any that know to secrecy and keep it from the rest. She can't know. Hurry and find them. She'll have started rounds like you should have!'

'Yes ma'am.'

Christina rushed off to find Mer, trying desperately to think of a way to keep her from finding out.


	4. Keep Breathing

He felt that he was missing something important.. Something he was meant to have been doing. With someone? He couldn't remember.. He tried but he couldn't. Soon the voices grew a little louder distracting him. He could hear the people talking about someone.. It sounded like the person was in a pretty bad way.. Not far from dead. But he couldn't work out who they were talking about. He tried to see but he found he couldn't move and everything was fuzzy. He tried to think about who it could be. But he soon gave up because thinking hurt too much.

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Meredith was doing her rounds, preoccupied of thoughts about the whereabouts of Derek Shepherd. She'd sent some of her interns down to the pit to get rid of them. She needed the space.

So naturally she wasn't impressed when she got a page from one of them requesting a consult. She made her way to the pit, her temper growing the nearer she drew. This had better be good, she thought almost spitefully. It turned out to be a little girl who had the flu, whose parents were scared the rash they saw meant their darling little Allie had meningitis. Meredith took the offending intern to one side having sorted out Allie's parents.

'Are you a doctor?!' she hissed at him. He nodded mutely.

'Are you a surgeon?!' she snapped at him. He nodded mutely.

'Then start behaving like one! YOU are the Doctor. You do not need to take up the valuable time of another doctor when the issue is nothing more than one of an over concerned parent who….'

Meredith trailed off into silence as she watched a patient being rushed into Trauma Room 1, accompanied by Doctor Bailey, the Chief, and Mark Sloan, a lot of top surgeons for one patient. They looked worried, scared even. Something wasn't right. Her eyes met Mark's for a minute and he said something to Bailey and the Chief, who looked up. She was already at the window when the Chief got out of Trauma Room 1, frozen to the spot, horrified, and terrified by what she saw.

It was Derek. Her Derek. Lying there.. Bleeding… Coding….

'Doctor Grey. Meredith..?' The Chief put a hand on her shoulder and almost immediately she jerked herself away, and walked away speeding up as she did. She was almost running down the corridor trying not to cry when she ran headlong into Christina. She pushed past her and ran to the bathroom and just about made it in time to throw up.


	5. Mark brings in reinforcements

Hey Guyyys I know this is going up kinda fast but i have quite alot written! :D Reviews and suggestions appreciated :D Thank you soo much to McBlender and Luckyducky09 :D xxxx

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Meredith stood there staring into the mirror bracing herself on the sink in which she'd just thrown up. Christina came in. For a minute no-one spoke.

'The Chief is looking for you.' Meredith gave no reply.

'Bailey sent me to distract you. You weren't meant to find out yet.'

'How bad is it?' When Meredith finally spoke her voice was soft and tears continued to stream down her face. Christina looked shifty.

'I.. um.. I don't exactly.. know.. Bailey wouldn't tell me.' As Mer rounded on her friend someone knocked on the door.

'Meredith?' It was the Chief. Meredith sniffed and called back.

'Come in sir. It's just me and Christina.' The door opened slowly, and in edged a very uncomfortable Chief of Surgery.

'Meredith… You were supposed to… Doctor Yang was supposed to keep you occupied but we couldn't find you and…' Richard Webber trailed off uncomfortably into silence.

' And instead Derek's been brought in as a trauma and you were hoping not to have to tell me but because I was down here and saw him you didn't have a chance to catch me and keep me away from the ER I found out. Right sir?' Meredith finished The Chief's sentence. Richard shifted uncomfortably.

'Well… Yes. Do you want to take the day? Of course like any family member or spouse you won't be allowed in but we can keep you updated?' He thought he knew what Meredith would say to this offer but he offered it nonetheless. But he was surprised at her answer.

'I'll take the day thank you sir. Just please, get Christina to call me if anything happens.' Meredith picked up her stuff and walked out of the locker room still in her scrubs and white coat.

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Addison Montgomery was sitting quietly in her L.A office at the Ocean Wellness Clinic doing some paperwork when her cell phone rang.

'Hello?'

'Addie?' Mark's voice was different somehow; strained almost.

'Oh Hey Mark. What's up?' She frowned, trying to work out what was wrong.

'Addie. How are you doing?'

'I'm great thanks Mark. What's wrong?' He paused for a second.

'I'm so sorry. It's Derek.'

'Derek? What's wrong with Derek?' Addison was now good friends with her ex husband and his girlfriend and was immediately concerned. There was a brief silence on the other end of the line.

'Addie I'm sorry. He's been in an accident.'

Suddenly her mouth fell open as she gasped in horror.

'In an accident!? Oh my god. What's his status? What happened? How is he? Are you ok?'

'We don't know yet. He's just been bought in but it doesn't look good Addie… We're all a little shaken up. Could you…' Mark trailed off helplessly. Addie knew exactly what he wanted.

'Of course. I'll be there as soon as I can Mark. It's no problem at all I don't have any patients right now.' Mark hesitated.

'Addie, how's things with you and Meredith?' Addison frowned a little wondering why he was inquiring about Meredith. Then it dawned on her. 'Where is she Mark? Does she know about Derek?'

'Yeah she knows… She wasn't meant to… But we were so busy preparing for Derek that we didn't see her… She was down because one of her interns had called her for a consult… She saw before we could talk to her. Richard saw her briefly but then she took off and everyone's really busy and you…' Mark trailed off again.

'I get it. I'll be on the next flight out.'

'Thanks Addie.'

'No problem Mark.' Addison hung up and called to check flights. She had a lot of organising to do.


	6. Drinking Time

Meredith Grey sat at the bar and stared into space without saying a word. Joe polished some glasses and gazed warily at her.

'Meredith… You ok?' Meredith didn't say anything for a minute.

'It's Derek. He's….. He's….. He was in an accident…' Meredith trailed off. Joe gasped.

'Is he ok?' Meredith sniffed.

'I don't know. They wouldn't let me see him and he's only just come in so they won't know yet…. Can I have a drink please Joe?' Joe looked at her and then the clock. It was about 11 am.

'Usual?' Joe asked reaching for the tequila bottle. Meredith nodded mutely as Joe poured a shot of tequila into a shot glass and watched as Meredith downed it and held it back out for more. He sighed and refilled it. He decided he would call the hospital and find Christina in an hour or so.

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The lights grew brighter and he opened his eyes. He thought he was moving but couldn't understand how. He gazed at the man standing over him. He didn't know him… Did he? He wasn't sure. The man seemed to know him. He had called him Derek. But that wasn't his name. Was it? And if that wasn't his name… Then what was his name? The pain built and built and then it was like a water balloon bursting and the pain trickled away pulling darkness down upon him once again.

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Mark Sloan was rushing his best friend for an MRI. He looked down at Derek. He lay bleeding and unconscious. They still weren't sure how much damage there was yet. They had stopped the bleeding, externally anyway, and needed a better idea of what they were dealing with before they even thought about attempting surgery. They needed to act fast though; Derek had been down for a good 15 minutes before they had managed to get a heart beat back. The Chief was calling the second and third best neurosurgeons in the country. No one wanted to try and operate on the infamous Derek Shepherd without one of the best neuro guys there. Mark frowned down as Derek's eyelids fluttered and he opened his eyes. Mark was stunned.

'Hey Derek. Shep! It's me, Mark. You're at Seattle Grace. I'm just taking you to MRI.' Derek looked a little dazed and confused before he murmured a sentence Mark would never forget.

'I'm sorry, but who are you exactly?' Mark looked down at Derek with a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach he was just about to try and answer when Derek's eyes fluttered shut and he flat lined. Mark panicked and started CPR. After a minute or so Derek's heart beat resumed and he began breathing again. Mark called Burke and told him that if he wasn't busy he should meet them up in MRI.


	7. The Letter

Hey Guys! Mooore Updates! Thanks mrsmcdreamy29 and likeURinterested for your reviews! and thanks to everyone who is favouriting the story! Its got a good response. alot better than I was expecting so thanks guys! More sooon! And In response to the Addie thing... Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaybe :p You'll seee :D xxx

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Preston Burke got to MRI about the same time as Derek and Mark.

'Mark, you sounded panicked on the phone what happened?' Mark told Burke about Derek coding and how he had managed to pull him back.

'Sloan! Why didn't you call a code? Someone could have helped you!' Mark shifted uncomfortably.

'I didn't have time. It was too quick and I was preoccupied.' Before Burke could say anything Mark continued. 'He opened his eyes Preston. But… He didn't know who I was.' Burke looked at Mark.

'How long was he conscious for?'

'Less than a minute then he coded.' Burke put his hand on Mark's shoulder and hesitated for a minute, considering his response.

'It's not out of the ordinary for patients with head trauma like Derek's to have amnesia pre op Mark. He'll be ok. We'll make sure of it. How did your call to Addison go?' Mark swallowed and tried to steady himself.

'Great. She's here on the first flight out of L.A. She said she'll take care of Meredith and anything else we need her to do. She's really worried.' Burke nodded.

'We all are.' Burke was helping Mark and the MRI tech to move Derek onto the table when his pager went. He glanced across at Mark.

'You got this?' Mark nodded mutely. Burke walked away quickly pushing aside his worry for one of his best friends and ran to the ER. He had a trauma waiting for him.

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Christina walked into Joe's bar and saw Meredith at the bar, still in her scrubs. She went over and sat beside her.

'Meredith.' Meredith didn't seem to hear her. Christina put her arm around her 'person's shoulder and pulled her close. Meredith began to cry into Christina's arm. Then she saw what Christina had put on the bar when she came in. It was an envelope addressed to her. She froze and sat up staring at that envelope. Christina followed her gaze.

'It was in his personal effects. We thought you should have it.' Meredith nodded then asked

'How is he?' Christina looked at her and swallowed.

'We worked on him for 2 and a half hours before we could stabilise him enough to get him up to MRI. He coded again while in transit but Dr Sloan managed to bring him back. He's in MRI now.' Meredith nodded mutely in acceptance put her glass back on the bar and looked at Joe who refilled it. She reached for the letter and opened it.

She read it quickly and burst into tears. She stuffed the letter back into the envelope and held out her hand for the bottle of tequila Joe was holding.

'I need my keys. And I'll pay you for this when I get back.' Joe shook his head.

'You are in no state to drive Meredith. It's fine about the drink but I'm not giving you the keys. And I'm certainly not giving you the rest of this bottle!' Christina turned to Meredith.

'What do you need the keys for Mer? Joe's right. You can't drive. And you do not need more tequila. You know that.'

'You can drive me. I need to go home for a minute. Back to the trailer I mean. I have to look for something. You can drive me. I was gonna get you to anyway.'

Christina looked at Meredith's tear stained face. She nodded.

'Joe, give me her keys. I'll take her. I'll bring the car over I just have to run back to the hospital to tell them I'll be gone for a bit. Wait with her would you, please?' Joe nodded and opened the cash register and handed Christina the keys. She walked out of the bar as Joe handed Meredith a tissue.

'What did the letter say Meredith?' Meredith looked at Joe who backed up. 'It's ok you don't have to tell me…' Meredith sniffed.

'Thanks Joe but it's ok. In short he left me something at the trailer. And I need to find out what it is.' Joe nodded. They sat in silence for a second.

'You want one for the road?' Meredith smiled weakly and nodded.

'Could I have what Derek usually has?' Joe frowned for a second.

'He has Whiskey doesn't he? Or is it scotch?'

'Scotch please Joe.' Joe handed her a different glass with some amber liquid in the bottom. She began to drink it, waiting for Christina to return.


	8. The Arrival of Addison

Christina ran back across to Seattle Grace Hospital and ran straight to the Chief's office. She didn't bother knocking but pushed open the door and rushed in. Richard Webber looked up a little shocked.

'Doctor Yang? Did you even knock? And how did you know where I was?' Christina rolled her eyes.

'You told us all before Joe called and I left that you were going to wait for the test results in your office and make a few calls.' Richard looked a little disgruntled for a second.

'Ok Yang. What is it?' Christina gasped for breath and swallowed.

'I need to take Meredith home sir. She has been at Joe's since she left and… I need to take her home. She has to get something.' The Chief looked a little suspiciously at Christina.

'What aren't you telling me Yang? Did you give her the letter?'

'Yes sir. That's why she needs to go back. Also she needs to stop drinking. She's very drunk. And when I bring her back, I'll bring her here and look after her rather than letting her drink herself all the way to the ER with alcohol poisoning.' Richard nodded.

'Ok. Addison should be here soon anyway. When you get back hang a banana bag for Meredith and take care of her. I'll have Addison find you when she arrives.' Christina looked a little confused.

'With all due respect sir, why is she flying in?'

'We need someone to look after Meredith and Addison can do that. She knows exactly how Meredith is feeling. We need all hands on deck Yang. Need I remind you that we are an attending and a resident short?'

'No sir.' Christina shifted uncomfortably and turned to go.

'Yang?' Christina stopped short and turned around to face the Chief.

'How are you doing with Doctor Burke being here?' Christina swallowed.

'Fine sir, it's Meredith that is having problems.' The Chief stared at her for a second, and then waved his hand.

'Ok, go on take her home Yang. Oh and while you're here I thought you ought to know; he regained consciousness just before he coded on the way to MRI.' Christina's mouth fell open.

'What did he say? How is he? Is he conscious now?' Richard held his hand up.

'No he isn't and it was only for a second or so. He seems to have lost his memory which is of course not unusual for pre op head traumas of Derek's situation, but nonetheless…' Christina nodded.

'I won't tell Meredith sir, if that's ok with you. Not yet.' Richard nodded and waved her out of his office as his phone started ringing.

Christina ran back to Meredith's car and drove over to Joe's to pick her up.

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Addison arrived in Seattle and was in a taxi within 10 minutes. She didn't even bother to stop off at a hotel merely getting the taxi driver to help her take her luggage into the office of Richard Webber at Seattle Grace hospital. Once she had paid the taxi driver she went in search of Mark or Richard to find out what was going on. She found them coming out of MRI.

'Mark, what's his status?' Mark looked up at her with a look of complete shock on his face.

'We have Williams and Daniels flying in. He has… Addie he has a depressed skull fracture with severe bleeding into the brain. We need to get in. We need to get in now. We don't know… We don't know if he'll wake up. Or if he'll ever regain his memory.' Addison stared down in shock at her ex husband, one of her closest friends. She tried to blink the tears from her eyes.

'Um… Where's Meredith? Does she know about this?' Mark and Richard looked at each other. She was avoiding the issue.

'No. She's gone back to the trailer… There was a letter for her in his personal effects. Apparently she had to get something from the trailer.' Richard studied her and tried to work out what she was thinking.

'You don't think that he… I mean…' Mark who had been staring at Derek looking lost rounded on Addison.

'No I most certainly don't. He was happy with her. He is happy with her. They're together and happy. He wouldn't do something like that Addison and I don't ever want to hear you saying anything like that ever again.' Mark stormed off. Addison stood there in complete shock. The Chief put his hand on her shoulder.

'It's getting to him Addie that's all. They were getting pretty close… Forgive him. It's affecting all of us.' Addison sniffed and nodded.

'You replaced me yet Richard?' She smiled weakly.

'No. I haven't been able to find anyone I like. Why?'

'I need to work Richard, but I need to be here. Got any pregnant people?' Richard smiled.

'As a matter of fact I do. Come on let's get Derek to his room and I shall show you our pregnant people.'


	9. Bittersweet Symphony

Here you go guys :D Thanks for the support and I only updated this so quick for mrsmcdreamy29 :D And of course i mention people It's cos of you guys that i'm smiling throuhg my migrane :D Please Keep up reviews :D

xxxxx

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When Meredith and Christina pulled up at the trailer, Meredith jumped out the truck letter in hand. She fumbled in her purse for the keys and pushed her way inside. Rushing straight to their bed she threw the pillows off the bed and found beneath them a rose, another envelope and a small box. With tears streaming down her face Meredith tore open the second envelope and read it quickly. She picked up the box sobbing loudly. Inside was the most beautiful ring she had ever seen and a small piece of lavender scented paper.

Christina walked in having locked the car after getting concerned about her friend. She found Meredith curled up in a ball clutching something tightly in her hands with a rose a box and two envelopes and some paper strewn across the bed. She walked over to Meredith and stroked her hair.

'Mer it's ok. What's going on?' Meredith sniffed and sat up. She held out her hand and opened it. Christina just stared at the ring lying there.

'Oh my god. Meredith. You're engaged!' Meredith curled back up and continued to sob. Christina looked at the envelopes lying on the bed.

'Mer can I..?' Christina didn't even have to finish. Meredith nodded gripping her friends hand and crying even harder. Christina picked up the blood stained envelope first and opened it pulling out the letter from inside.

_My Dear Angel _

_I'm sorry I took so long last night. But trust me it's worth it. Rose is ok now and no I know what you're thinking and nothing happened. I love you Meredith Grey. More than anyone or anything I have loved in my life. You are my soul mate. And we are going to build that house of candles. Together. Maybe with some builders though because as you pointed out we are surgeons. ____ After work we are going out to dinner at that steak place you love so much. You may want to go back to the trailer first and change. AMeredind while your there I picked you up a little something earlier. I love you darling. See you soon._

_Derek_

_x_

Christina gazed at the letter and then at her person. Meredith was curled up and seemed almost broken. Christina picked up the other envelope.

_Meredith_

_I know this is a little sudden but looking at you last night. I just knew. I knew that you and I were going to be together for the rest of our lives. I knew I wanted you to be my wife. With our kids in their playroom. Meredith Grey, I love you. I need you. I want to grow old with you. That is just for now. The one will be coming soon. But I just couldn't wait till then. It had to be now. _

_I made reservations. Call me. ___

_I love you angel. See you tonight_

_D x_

Then finally she picked up and sniffed at the last scrap of paper:

_My Beautiful Meredith _

_Please would you do me the honour of being my wife? _

_D x _

Christina looked up at Meredith. She smiled and took the ring from Meredith. Taking her friends hand she slipped it on.

'Meredith. You are engaged. And yes Derek is sick and this all sucks right now. But he will be ok. You will be ok. And I will be your bridesmaid or whatever.'

Meredith smiled weakly and sniffed.

'Ok Christina. Let me put this rose in some water and then you can take me back to Joe's.' Christina smiled and shook her head.

'You are not going to Joe's. The Chief wants you at the hospital.' Meredith looked aghast.

'I can't be there! Not with Derek… like that. I don't suppose you know what's going on? How is he?' Christina swallowed and considered her answer.

'He's critical but stable. I don't really know much more. We need to get back to get an update.' Meredith sighed and nodded. She gazed down at the ring.

'I'm getting married.' Meredith breathed as she picked up the rose and put it into a glass and ran some water into the glass. She swept the letters, the note and the ring box into her purse and moved to the door where Christina was waiting.

'Yes Meredith Grey. You are getting married. Come on we need to get back.'


	10. Broken Hearted Girl

'I can call Archer if you want Richard. He can come up here and may be able to do some good.' Richard shook his head.

'They're prepping him for surgery now. We can't wait. Williams and Daniels are an hour out. As soon as they get here they are reviewing the scans and scrubbing in. We don't have the time. Derek doesn't have the time.'

Addison rubbed her temple, she didn't like being helpless and right here in this moment there was nothing she could do. She suddenly remembered one of the things Mark had asked her on the phone.

'Where's Meredith?' Addison asked. Richard looked at the clock and frowned for a second.

'I don't know I'll page Yang.'

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Christina and Meredith were walking into Seattle Grace Hospital when Christina got paged.

'It's the Chief. We have to go to his office.' Meredith wrinkled her nose apprehensively. They ran into Christina and Meredith's interns floating around as they neared the Chief's office. When they saw Meredith and Christina they immediately came over and all started talking at once. Christina held her hand up.

'Shut up. We don't care. What are you doing just hanging around?' The interns looked a little lost for a moment. Then someone pushed one forwards.

'We don't have anything to do.' Christina glared at him.

'We don't have anything to do Ma'am?' Christina nodded.

'Better. Now my interns go do scut work and do my paperwork. Go. NOW!' Christina's interns raced away. 'Now Meredith's interns; you report to me today. Go cover the pit and any post or pre ops Meredith had you on before. If in doubt find me or the Chief.' Meredith's interns also scuttled off, they however scuttled in the direction of the pit. Meredith and Christina looked at each other then went over to the Chief's door. Christina knocked.

'Come in.' The Chief called. Christina pushed open the door and pushed Meredith inside. Addison was sitting talking to the Chief.

'Um… good day Dr Montgomery.' Christina stuttered. Addison stood up and walked over to Meredith and put her arms around the frail looking girl and pulled her close. Meredith just stood there for a second before bursting into tears and throwing her arms around Addison. Addie glanced back at the Chief who nodded, looking uncomfortable, and Addie guided Meredith out of the office. Christina turned to follow but Richard stopped her.

'Yang you need to take care of the interns. Addison has Meredith covered.

'But sir, I'm her person. She needs me.' Richard shook his head.

'Maybe she does but right now she has someone and the interns need you.' Christina sighed, nodded reluctantly and went to find the interns.

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Addie took Meredith to her old office which was still vacant, and sat her on the couch. Meredith just sat where Addie had put her and sobbed into her hands. Something caught Addison's attention as it glinted in the light. She gasped and grabbed Meredith's hand.

'Meri! What's this?!' Meredith looked up briefly before crying even harder. She fumbled in her bag for the notes and handed them to Addison. Addie read them quickly and then looked up at Meredith with a look of happiness, sadness and understanding.

'Oh Meri..' Addie took Meredith in her arms and hugged her tight as Meredith cried into her shoulder. This was going to be an even harder job than she'd thought.


	11. Meredith's Plea

A/N--- Thank you SO much for all your favourites and reviews so far! You guys are AMAZING!! :D The more reviews I get the faster I update :p Loveee xxxxx

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Christina was studying Derek's file while supervising the interns in the ER, hoping for a trauma. Suddenly she felt someone standing close behind her. She sighed.

'You had better get out of my space before I turn you into a really good trauma to work on.' Whoever was behind her laughed, instantly she knew who it was. She turned around abruptly.

'Burke. What are you doing?' Christina looked up at him coldly as he towered over her.

'I just wanted to see if you were ok.' Burke breathed down at Christina as he gazed into her eyes. She snorted and moved around to sit behind counter she was leaning on.

'It's Meredith's fiancé who is about to have his brain cut into. Not mine.' Burke's eyes clouded.

'So you have someone?'

'That is none of your business Doctor Burke.' Christina met his eyes with cold fury and stalked off to terrorise some interns.

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Addison and Meredith sat in Derek's room holding each other's hands. Meredith was struggling to hold it all together and as Addie glanced over at her, it appeared to be a battle Meredith was losing. Meredith reached out and stroked Derek's hair. A single tear ran down her cheek as she gazed at him. Addie squeezed her hand and rose to her feet.

'Come on let's go get some coffee you look exhausted.' Meredith's eyes never left Derek.

'If you don't mind Addie… I'm just gonna stay here… and keep an eye on him.' Addison nodded silently and leant down and hugged Meredith.

'Do you want anything?'

'No I'm ok thanks, but you go, eat.' Addison looked a little uncomfortable.

'Ok I'll be right back ok Mer?' Meredith made no reply, not that Addie was expecting one and so Addison left; concerned about how long Meredith could hold herself together, how long Derek could go without surgery. She resolved to find Yang and Mark on her way back from getting coffee.

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Meredith stared at Derek barely aware that Addison had left. After five minutes or so she rose and closed the door. Walking back towards the bed she took Derek's hand once more and kissed it softly.

'I love you Derek Shepherd and I want to spend the rest of my life… With you. So don't you DARE go dying on me ok!? We can make it through this… You can make it through this… You have to be ok… We're getting married remember?' Meredith gazed down at her ring and her fiancé and broke down. A knock on the door broke through her haze of terror.

She sniffed grabbed a tissue wiped her eyes and turned to face the Chief looking uncertain on the threshold of the room.

'Umm… Doctor Grey. Meredith, we need to get Derek to CT for some pre-op scans.' Meredith nodded mutely kissed his hand and moved over to the sofa and folded her arms across her chest. The chief walked over, uncertain of how to deal with her.

'Meredith… how are you holding up? Where's Addie?' Meredith swallowed.

'Fine. She went to get coffee.' She almost whispered her reply and Richard hastily withdrew, concentrating on getting Derek up to CT.

When they'd gone Meredith sat staring at the place where the bed had been, she really didn't know what to do.


	12. Breaking

A/N-- Thanks sooo much again guys Reviews are ALWAYS appreciated :) Here is moooore :D Hopefully this is ok for you guys i should warn you there is Maddison and possibly eventually some Burktina... maybe Christina Centric... Not sure yet :D Input appreciateed :) Love xxxx

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Addie was sitting with her head in her hands in the Attending's lounge when Preston Burke came in and sat down beside her.

'Hey Addison. How are you holding up?' Addison peered out at him from between her fingers and sighed rubbing her face.

'I'm comforting one of my best friend's over her boyfriend's condition; a man who has proposed from his coma and whom happens to be my ex husband. I'm … having a bit of a hard time with it. I don't want to be with him but… Derek.. He was part of my family for 11 years. I still care about him and this is hurting me but I can't show it… I have to be strong for Meredith. I have to go back to that room and hold her hand and tell her it'll be ok when we all know the chances of it being ok are sooo remote.. I just..' Addie gazed down at her shoes. Burke thought for a second.

'What about Yang? Did her and Grey fall out or could she take care of her?'

'Richard wants me on this. Yang is handling Grey's interns and her own. Although I am going to see her in a minute. I don't know how long Meredith is going to be able to hold it together for.' Burke nodded and looked akward for a second.

'Do you know what's going on with Christina lately?' Addison's head snapped up as she narrowed her eyes at Preston.

'You mean SINCE you left her heartbroken at the altar?' Burke cleared his throat.

'Um.. Yes. Since then.' Addison stared him down icily for a minute before she rose and went to the coffee.

'She has no boyfriend if that's what you mean. But Preston. Don't even think about going there. She tried not to show it but she really was messed up when you left.' Burke nodded and rose.

'Well good luck with Grey and Yang. Anything I can do?' Addie nodded.

'Find Mark and send him here. Thanks Preston.' Burke nodded and walked out of the lounge leaving Addie to her thoughts.

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Mark Sloan was at CT talking to the Neurosurgeons Richard Webber had flown in to operate on Derek. It didn't look good. There was quite a bit of bleeding and according to Daniel Williams, there was a high possibility of tearing.

'We have to get his to surgery now. Page your other in house Neurosurgeon and have them prep an OR now. Do you want me to tell the relatives.' Mark swallowed.

'No. I'll do that. I'm his best friend. His family aren't here yet. Only his fiancée and his ex wife. Don't ask. What shall I tell them?' The two neurosurgeons looked at each other.

'Tell them that we need to get him to surgery immediately to release the intercranial pressure creating by the bleeding. Also we need to more closely assess the damage. The longer we wait the worse the long term effects will be.' Mark's face went ashen but he nodded resolutely. Burke walked in and grabbed Mark's arm.

'Addison needs you. She's in the attending's lounge.' Mark nodded and without another word rushed away. Burke nodded at the two dumbfounded doctors and walked away.

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Addie was staring into space when Mark burst into the lounge and sat down next to her.

'Addie what is it? Are you ok? Burke said….' Addie was silent and then just burst into tears. Mark looked down aghast as he watched Addie begin to unravel next to him. He bit his lip and gathered her into his arms.

'Shhhhh… Hush Addie baby… It's gonna be ok..' Addison just cried harder into Mark's chest. He stroked her hair and made calming noises until her sobbing quieted to sniffing occasionally. She looked up at him.

_Even with her make up all run like this she's still so beautiful to me... _Mark thought as he looked down into her eyes.

'How is he Mark? I don't think I can take this. I still care about him even though it's different now I still care and Meredith.. I don't know how long she can hold it together and I have to be strong for her.. and I can't… I don't… I….' She broke down again.

'I'm here Addie. I've got you. It's gonna be ok… We're gonna pull through this all of us.' Mark tried to comfort her; he hated to see her so hurt. As she quieted again she gazed up at him and before either of them could do anything about it their lips met softly as Mark stroked her hair.

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Christina was berating one of Meredith's interns when she heard someone clear their throat behind her. She turned around about to inflict her wrath on whoever had dared to interrupt her, when she noticed that it was Sloan and Addison.

'Where's Meredith? Is she ok? How's Shepherd?' Suddenly Christina was all questions.


	13. Beautiful Disaster

Addie and Mark looked at one another and Addie held up her hand.

'Derek is going into surgery as soon as possible. They need to release the pressure, stop the bleeding and look for any other damage. Meredith is... I'm worried about her Christina. I think she's gonna break… Could you come see her?' Christina studied Addison carefully. Addison had been bought in to deal with Meredith… Part of Christina wanted to let her cope and see how she did, but Meredith was her person. She nodded.

'Would you take the interns?' Addison smiled.

'Thanks Christina! I just need to go grab some things and I'll be right back then you can go see her.' Christina turned back to her charting but as she glanced up to watch the pair leaving she caught them holding hands. It was only for a second.. but she definitely saw it.. She made a mental note to ask someone.

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Someone was shouting at him… Touching him… He didn't understand what she was saying but she seemed to be crying… For some reason that upset him. He didn't know why… or who the woman who was crying was… He tried to remember but it hurt. So he stopped trying… And everything faded as quickly as it had sharpened…

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Mark pushed Addison into the On-Call room and locked the door behind them without taking him mouth from hers. He was in heaven. She was there… She wasn't just running from Derek, she was really there. She wanted him… All of him. Mark smiled and kissed her harder. She broke the kiss and smiled up at him.

'Mark Sloan.' His heart leapt as she whispered him name as he gazed down at her. Her hair was a little tousled and she was breathless.

'Addie?' She smiled and leaned into his ear.

'I love you.' Mark stopped dead in his tracks.

'Addie?' He wasn't sure if he'd heard her right.

'I love you Mark. You mean everything to me. I haven't stopped thinking about you… Every time my cell buzzes I hope it's you. I always loved you… Ever since Derek left…' He couldn't believe she was finally saying this. It was what he'd always wanted to hear. He didn't know what to say. So instead he kissed her again.

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Christina was still charting when out of the corner of her eye she caught Meredith wandering through the ER. She dropped her pen and walked over.

'Mer?' Meredith turned around looking confused. Christina's mouth fell open.

'Meredith! What happened?' There was a large laceration on Meredith's forehead and there was blood running down the side of her face.

'I…. I don't know. I was in the hall and suddenly I just… Woke up on the floor with some nurses staring down at me… I got up and now I'm here… Where's Derek? He was meant to be bringing coffee…' Christina stopped dead.

''_Oh no… Please don't let her have concussion… I can't tell her again…'' _ Christina ushered Meredith in to a side room and got a suture kit. She dabbed the wound and felt her friend flinch at her touch.

'Christina? Didn't you hear me? I asked if you'd seen Derek? I think he's with Rose.' Christina concentrated on cleaning up Meredith avoiding the question.

_What am I going to do? _Christina thought_ I can't break this to her not again. _

'Sorry I was deciding which type of suture to use on you. I'll just page him.' Christina paged Addison, Sloan and The Chief.

She was just finished stitching up Meredith when all three of them turned up at the same time. Christina noticed that Mark and Addison looked flushed but were avoiding each other. She decided to ignore it for now and inclined her head.

'I'll be right back Mer.' She walked out into the ER followed by the other three surgeons.

'She's got concussion. She doesn't remember.' Christina blurted out as soon as she shut the door. Addie's face dropped. Oh no. Not again. Mark turned to talk to her but she turned to the Chief.

'I've got this.' She walked in and closed the door behind her on three very confused surgeons.

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	14. Runaway

A/N Reviews and favourites are my literary oxygen :p :D Thanks Sailor Cyanide for the lovely review :D Just for you neww update freshly written :D Keep em coming guys 

3

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Meredith stared at Addie. She was confused. No one was answering her questions and now Addison was here. Addison shouldn't be here. She lived in LA now.

'Addie you look great and its wonderful to see you but… What are you doing here? I thought you were in LA permanently now?' Addie looked troubled. She sat down beside Meredith and put her arm round her.

'Meri… There was an accident…' Meredith's mouth fell open.

'Am I ok.. Are YOU ok? Who's hurt? What happened? Can I …' Addie held up a hand to stop the flow of questions. She took a deep breath.

'Meredith I'm so sorry. It's Derek hun. He got in a car accident this morning and he… Well it's not good… He's being taken to surgery.' Meredith stood up.

'I have to go scrub in. Now. I can help.' Addie took her by the arm.

'No Mer. You have concussion. You have to stay here.' Meredith stopped. It began to hit her.

'He's… going to surgery… He's….' She broke down crying into Addie's arms. Addie's heart broke to see her friend like that. Suddenly Meredith stopped and stared at her left hand. Addie's stomach dropped out.

'Addison. Why is there a ring on my left hand?' She looked into Addie's hand and her face fell as she realised. She burst into tears again. Addison beckoned to Christina who slid into the room and took hold of her friend allowing Addison to leave the room. As she closed the door quietly behind her she felt a hand in the small of her back. Without looking to see who it was she removed it. She turned to Richard.

'I think we should get her a head CT. I'm a little concerned about her.' The Chief nodded.

'Do you think it'll be ok if I go in?' Addie nodded almost blindly as she began to walk away. She barely heard Mark calling out her name as she picked up speed now running down the hall trying to find somewhere safe.. Somewhere quiet. She needed to be alone. She got into her car and drove. She went to the trailer.

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Mark stood staring after Addison as she drove away. It started to rain but he just stood there. Unable to move. Unable to think. What was wrong with her? He didn't understand. She had said she loved him…. And now she was running from him. He felt more hurt than when she went back to Derek. Even worse than that time that time he'd caught her with Karev or when she left to LA. He hurt. And he didn't know what to do. He walked numbly across the parking lot in the direction of Joe's.

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The Chief was taking Meredith to CT. She wouldn't stop crying. The Chief sent Christina to go and get Addison back. A nurse approached the Chief.

'Um sir. It's Derek Shepherd there's complications they need you.' The Chief muttered under his breath. He paged Christina. Within 5 minutes she was there.

'Yang you need to take care of Grey. There are complications in the surgery I have to go.' Without another word he ran. Christina noticed that Meredith had stopped crying, but she wasn't sure she liked this. Meredith was just staring into space. Blank faced and silent. Almost completely unresponsive. Christina paged Meredith's shrink.

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Dr Wyatt appeared just as Christina was walking out of CT with Mer. Christina got a nurse to stay with Meredith as she pulled Dr Wyatt aside.

'Shepherd is in surgery. He's critical. She fell and got concussion. Now she won't talk. I'm worried about her. Oh and he proposed from beyond the accident.' Dr Wyatt raised her eyebrows in shock and confusion.

'How did he…?' Christina glanced over at the nurse who was trying in vain to talk to Meredith,

'He left notes. He was trying to surprise her. By the time she got them… He was in the ER. She won't speak. She won't do anything. I have to look after her interns and mine as well as sorting out the rest of the surgical floor. We're now a resident and an attending down. And Mark and Addison have gone. Take care of her.' Christina almost ran from the scene. It hurt her to see Meredith like that. And she DID have traumas to take care of.

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Dr Bailey was looking for her residents. Yang, Stevens, Karev, anyone really. She needed to find Grey. She almost ran headlong into Christina.

'Hey.. What you think you're doing Yang?' Christina looked torn between keeping on rushing to wherever it was she was going and talking to Bailey. Talking won out.

'The ER. I have traumas and my interns and Meredith's interns. Derek's critical he crashed on the table not long ago and Meredith is all dark and twisty. She won't talk. I got Dr Wyatt up to help. I really have to get going ma'am…' Christina started to edge away.

'Hold up. Where are they Yang? And where are Sloan and Montgomery?' Christina shook her head.

'Wyatt's office I presume. I don't know. The Chief sent me to find them but then called me back to take care of Meredith. Somehow we're really short staffed and I have to go make sure the interns don't kill anyone.'

Bailey nodded and let Yang rush off to make sure the interns weren't raising hell in the ER. She in the mean time was going to find Montgomery and Sloan. And she wasn't happy.

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	15. The Breaking of the SGH Surgeons

**_AN-- Hey Guys! Sorry it's been forever exams and life just caught up with me. But I'm back! And will be updating regularly. And I apologise for this one.... It's a bit short.. And a bit lame.. Let me know what you think as always _**

**_Love _**

_**xxxxx**  
_

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Joe picked up Mark's pager and held it in front of his face.

'Sloan… Dude…. You're pager keeps going off. Shouldn't you check if it's an emergency or something?' Mark just shook his head and shoved the pager blindly into his jacket. He silently held out his glass for another drink. Joe silently refilled his glass. Something was wrong with Mark Sloan and someone needed to sort him out before he became a danger to himself. He made a mental note to call the Chief or Addison. Soon.

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Addison walked up to the trailer in the pouring rain. She knelt down and pulled the spare key from under stand of the hammock and let herself in. She stood there, breathing in the scent of Derek. It was cold. The trailer was cold. She walked into what had once been their bedroom and collapsed onto the bed crying. Her cell phone rang. It was Mark. Again. She cut off the call. It buzzed again. She glared at it but checked it nonetheless. It was Bailey. She sniffed and flicked up her phone.

'Addison?' Miranda Bailey's voice was stern but had a soft edge to it. Addie sniffed,

'Miranda. What is it?'

'Addison. We need you. Where are you?' Addison silently shook her head.

'I can't… She… We… I…. He… Mark… I can't.' Miranda paused for a second.

'Okay Addie. It's ok. Where are you?' Addison told her, and the line went dead. Addison fell down again and cried.

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Miranda Bailey was angry. And scared. Mark Sloan had run off and was apparently not with Addison. Addison was in hysterics in her ex-husband's trailer and Meredith… No-one knew what was going on with Meredith just yet. They needed Addison. Bailey ran into the parking lot and climbed into her car. She had to go find her friend.

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Meredith could hear them. All of them. They seemed to think she was sick. She wanted to scream at them to help Derek. But it hurt too much to think about him. They were engaged… And he was… in surgery. People died in surgery all the time. People died from injuries like Derek's all the time. She burst into tears, shocking everyone around her.

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Dr Wyatt stared at Meredith. She was breaking. And Wyatt wasn't sure she could really help her. Not this time. This was different. She'd heard of the Stevens-Duquette case, and Isobel Stevens' consequent break down. But by the looks of this…. Knowing Meredith Grey, this was going to be so much more catastrophic. Suddenly Meredith erupted into heart wrenching sobs. Wyatt moved and pulled the younger woman close to her.

'Dr Grey. Meredith. It's ok to cry. I need you to talk to me. Like we always used to. Please. For me.' Meredith moved her head to look up at the therapist.

'I can't do this without him. I can't imagine being… Without him. We're engaged. I… I love him. I don't know what to do. What do I do…' Wyatt stared sympathetically down at Meredith.

'You hold on. You hold on for Derek. For your children. You don't fall apart. Come on, we're going to find you some work to do.' With that Wyatt took hold of Meredith's hand and pulled her off in search of the Chief.

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Miranda got to Derek's trailer and parked her car beside Addison's. She ran to the trailer to try to avoid getting wet and rushed inside. She found her friend lying in hysterics on the bed. Miranda rushed over to the distraught woman and stroked her hair.

'Shhhhh Addison hush. It's ok. Talk to me.' Addison moved her head into the lap of her friend and looked up at her, tears streaming down her face.

'What do I do Miranda? It's Derek. He's Derek. And I'm not supposed to feel like this, And I don't know what to say to Meredith. I…. And Mark… I told him… I told him I loved him… He didn't say.. anything… and… Derek…' Addison lapsed back into sobs of sheer grief and curled onto her side. Miranda sat for a moment and let her friend cry. She pulled Addison upright.

'What we are going to do is clean ourselves up and go back to the hospital. People need us. Pregnant people, Important people. People, need us and we need to help them Doctor. You can do this. You can help that girl and Derek Shepherd is going to be ok. Do you understand me?'

Addison nodded mutely and offered no resistance when Miranda Pulled her to her feet and took her to the bathroom to clean herself up.

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'She cannot be working as a Doctor within the four walls of this hospital when she is in this state Dr Wyatt! You know that!' Katharine sighed.

'Dr Webber. Richard, I understand what you see here but you don't understand. She is withdrawn, yes but work will focus her attention on other things. Let her do sutures, something engaging, interesting but safe and unimportant. She needs this to survive Richard. I wouldn't recommend it if I didn't think it was safe. As long as she's supervised... this is important Dr Webber.' Richard sighed and glanced over at Meredith who was staring intently at a nearby patient in the ER who was bleeding from a gash on his arm.

'Ok fine. But if she so much as….. anything…. And I want you to be here… But I also need you to go and check on one of my other surgeons.' Wyatt sighed.

'Am I supposed to clear my schedule for the surgical wing today?'

'Yes Katharine you are. For the next few days I'm gonna need you here. There is a lot of issues around here right now, Derek Shepherd being at the heart of everything. His… future controls the future of a number of my surgeons and I need your help.' Katharine sighed.

'Which surgeon now?'

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Mark was nursing a large glass of scotch when Katharine Wyatt walked up to him.

'Mark Sloan?' He looked her up and down. Then held up his hands and held up his hands.

'Whatever you think I did lady it wasn't me!' he smiled his McSteamy smile and was surprised when Wyatt merely grimaced. She sat down beside him and picked up his glass.

'Mark this isn't healthy. What's wrong?' Mark stared at her and tried to grab back his drink.

'Who do you think you are lady? My shrink?!' Katharine sighed.

'Actually yes Mark I am. Why are you drinking? Is it Derek, or something else?'

Mark turned to her.

'I'm the biggest screw up on the plant darling. You're never gonna figure me out.' With that he grabbed his drink, downed it and walked out of the bar back towards the hospital. Sighing Dr Wyatt picked up his jacket and hurried after him. This was gonna be one hell of a week.

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	16. Walking Trainwrecks

_**Ok Guys I know this update has taken FOREVER and it's really not that long! But I really felt this chapter needed to end on this note :p So I'm not gonna go to sleep until the next chap is finished but it's results day tomoro/today :S Fingers Crossed!!!! Thanks for hangoing in there guys! The fun is just beginning! **_

_**Love ya!**_

_**K xxxx**_

* * *

Miranda and Addison were silent the whole ride back to the hospital. Addison was thinking of ways to avoid Mark and what they could do to help Meredith and Miranda was wondering how much more her friend could take. Miranda was also considering giving Mark a piece of her mind. They pulled into the parking lot just as Mark was stumbling across the lot followed by Katharine Wyatt. Addie swore and ducked but not before Mark had caught sight of her and started towards them. Miranda jumped out of the truck and hurried to put herself between Sloan and Addie.

'Get out of the way Bailey.' Mark slurred. Miranda shook her head as Wyatt caught up.

'Mark go home. You're drunk and you certainly don't need to be anywhere near Dr Montgomery right now.' Wyatt stepped forward.

'Dr Bailey, I'm Dr Katharine Wyatt. I'm a psychiatrist. I'm here on orders from Chief Webber. Do you know what is happening here?' Mark picked that second to surge forwards towards Addison.

'Addie! Why did you leave me… I thought you loved me…' Addison stared like a deer caught in headlights and burst into tears and ran,

'MARK SLOAN!' Bailey rounded on him. 'What do you think you are doing! That beautiful girl is in love with you and all you can do is have sex with her! She bears her soul and you treat her like one of your nurses! You act once again entirely selfishly and get drunk and then you have the NERVE to come around here acting like she's in the wrong! She's broken Mark! Her ex husband is dying, her best friend is concussed and broken and YOU….' Miranda lapsed into silence while trying to regain composure. Dr Wyatt took a deep breath and stepped forward, placing herself between her drunk patient and the angry doctor.  
'Dr Bailey, am I right in thinking you may have information relevant to my patient's current state?'

'You're DAMNED right I do! He completely traumatised one of my dear friends! She FINALLY confesses her feelings for him, something he has been pining for, and all he does is stare at her and then shake his head and do the nasty nasty with her like she's some NURSE!' Dr Wyatt rounded on Mark who was staring at the sky, completely disinterested. She grabbed him by the arm and began to drag him towards the hospital.

'When you track down Addison bring her to me.' And with the Dr Wyatt was gone dragging a very drunk Mark Sloan behind her.

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Cristina sat and watched her friend do stitch after stitch, suturing up each and every patient which needed it with precision and skill. What was worrying Cristina was the lack of life in her eyes. She just stared expressionless at any injury presented to her. There was no spark. Any questions you posed her were answered efficiently, but she lacked any… life.

'I'm done here. You'll be fine ma'am I'll send a nurse to fix you up for discharge.' Meredith said rising to her feet, shaking Cristina from her concerned day dream. Cristina noticed that Meredith was already looking for the next patient.

'Mer, you're doing a great job. Would you like to go get coffee or something?' Meredith's head snapped up and stared at Cristina, who raised her hands up in a sign of surrender and moved Meri to the next person and paged the Chief.

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Addison sat in the gallery, above her ex-husband's surgery with her knees drawn up to her chest sobbing. She couldn't bear to watch but she couldn't bring herself to leave. Derek, her Derek, was down there, with some surgeons who were not him cutting into his brain. And her dear friend, Derek's fiancée was somewhere in the hospital possibly in complete pieces and she couldn't even get up to help her. Two people very dear to her were in trouble and all she could do is sit here and wallow in her own pain. Mark… She pushed the image of his drunk out of her mind and forced herself to her feet. She left without a glance down at the OR below her to find Meredith. Had she paused to glance down Addison would have fallen apart at the scene of complete havoc in the OR below her, Derek was flatlining….

_~Charge to 300! Now!!......... We're losing him!! AGAIN DAMMIT!!!!!!! I Will not be the surgeon who killed Derek Shepherd!!!~ _

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	17. Standing on the edge of Never

_**Sorry guys another cliff hanger :p But I updated quicker :p thanks for the reviews and favourites!!!! Keep it up :D Makes me happy :p **_

_**K**_

_**xxxxx  
**_

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Richard Webber stood at the nurse's station in the ER and watched Ellis Grey's daughter clinically and efficiently but lifelessly stitching up a patient and moving on to the next one.  
'Dr Grey.' Meredith stopped for a moment and glanced over at him.

'Sir?' Richard studied her face as she finished suturing the patient and told him a nurse would be discharging him shortly.

'Dr Grey, how are you doing?' he asked as she walked over to him.

'Fine sir. Why do you ask?' Webber had seen more life in the face of a terminal patient shortly before their death than he saw in Meredith's now. He paused for a moment.

'Meredith. I want you to finish here and I want to see you in my office within the hour.' Meredith shrugged, nodded and walked over to the next patient. Richard beckoned for Cristina and she hurried over.  
'Dr Yang, I want you to keep a close eye on her and I want you to make sure she is in my office within the hour. Dr Wyatt may be convinced that this is the best place for her but I'm not so sure. Keep me posted.'

'Yes sir. Of course sir.' As The Chief walked away Cristina turned back to her friend and studied her. She shook her head and turned back to her charts. She was really worried about Mer. She just had this…. Look in her eyes. A little like Derek had had around the time of Meredith's drowning. Cristina shook her head again as if trying to clear some image from her mind. Something, she knew, was going to happen.

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Miranda Bailey hurried into the gallery of Derek Shepherd's surgery. Someone had said they had seen Addie come up here but instead of finding Addison she found an empty gallery. When she glanced down to see how the surgery was going, her heart sank and she gasped. The OR was crawling with people. Derek was flatlining. They were trying their best to save him but nothing was working. Bailey stood for what seemed like forever with her hand over her mouth watching the scene play out below her, as Derek's pulse came back and he began to stabilise. She let out a breath that she didn't even know she had been holding. She paged Addie again and also the Chief. Miranda sighed and set off in search of her friend, still worrying terribly about Derek.

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Addison, having found out where Meredith was, walked through the ER hoping that no one noticed her shabby job of patching up her make up. She paused for a second and scanned the room. She spotted Yang trying to haul Meredith off somewhere and she strode over. She grabbed Meredith's arm.

'She's coming with me Cristina.' Cristina rounded on Addison looking very harassed.

'No Addison, she's going to see the Chief and she's already late. She doesn't want to go.' Addison removed Cristina's hand from Meredith's arm and pulled her towards her.

'She's coming with me Dr Yang. You can tell the Chief if you want.' Addison let go of Meri's arm and grabbed her hand and started to walk away, leading Meredith.

'But… Where are you going?!' Cristina called after them. Addison just waved her hand in response and breezed out of the ER with Meredith, leaving Cristina to wonder what she was going to do about the Chief.

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'What do you mean SHE'S GONE DR. YANG!?!?!' Cristina shifted uncomfortably.

'Dr Forbes Montgomery… Addison… She um… came and took her from the ER about 5 minutes ago… well maybe 7….' Richard held up a hand to silence her as Miranda Bailey barrelled headlong into the room.

'I've lost Addison. Anyone seen her?' Richard smiled grimly.

'She appears to have taken Meredith and gone somewhere.' Bailey's mouth fell open.

'WHAT!!!! Dr Wyatt wants to see her. We're going to have to cancel all Doctor Sloan's surgeries for today. He's so very drunk and Addison's too apparently, since she's gone missing. You might want to put out a general page that anyone seeing them should report it to you sir.' Richard grumbled a bit but nodded.

'Have either of you heard anything about Derek's surgery?' Bailey's expression softened from anger to concern.

'I was in the gallery…. Looking for Addison, someone said they saw her go up there; I … he was flat lining…. He was down for… a while but he stabilised then I had to leave….' Bailey shifted uncomfortably. Richard grimaced.

'Bailey FIND ADDISON AND MEREDITH. Yang go check the interns haven't killed anyone, I'll go get an official update.'

'Yes sir.' Bailey and Cristina chorused and scurried off, leaving Richard to his thoughts.

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Richard came to OR 1 and stopped abruptly. Where was Shepherd? This was the right OR so where was Derek….. Bailey's report flashed back through his head… ~_Flat lining… down for.. a while…~_


	18. Gyny Squad

Addison stood at the entrance to the ER watching Cristina move Meredith to her next patient, watched her friend lifelessly stitching up drunks in the ER. She walked over and stood beside Meredith. She watched as Meredith finished stitching up the guys arm and then lightly tapped her on the shoulder.

'Meri?' Meredith looked up, and smiled half heartedly at Addie.

'Hey Addie, Do you know what's going on no one will tell me?' Addison bit her lip and held out her hand for her friends. Meredith took her hand looking confused and let Addison pull her up and lead her out of the ER.

Cristina tried to call after Addison and Meredith to stop them, but Addison just waved her hand in Cristina's direction absentmindedly. Not sure what to do, Cristina paged Bailey. She shook her head as an intern came up and asked her to come deal with a hysterical patient. She growled at him and went to deal with it...

The nurses stared at Meredith as Addison gathered some charts together and gave them to her friend.

'What are we doing Addie?' Addison just smiled and gestured for her to follow. They walked into a patient room.

'Good afternoon Ella! This is Dr Grey and she will be assisting me this afternoon' Ella smiled and waved.

'Ok Dr Montgomery, how long have we got left, my husband won't be here for another hour...' Addison smiled warmly.

'Let's have a look shall we?' Addie completed a quick pelvic exam then smiled warmly at the patient. I'd say about 3 hours, but we'll see how it goes. Page either me or Doctor Grey is you need anything! It's going to be just fine Ella!' The patient smiled widely and nodded as Addison walked from the room and Meredith followed.

'Ok let's do the next one!


End file.
